The number of television programs and streaming services has gotten out of hand. Seriously, no one can keep up, and a huge part of routine conversation these days revolves around comparing favorite shows. Truthfully, I love it. Never have I been too cool for TV, and never will I deny the joy I experience when plugging into the idiot box– especially on Saturday mornings growing up. That’s one of the things I love best about having so much to choose from now! All those cartoons are still out there. Every episode of every season of every franchise! I’m like Scrooge McDuck swimming in an open vault of golden nostalgia!
My kids don’t realize how good they’ve got it. When I was a boy, you had to get up at the crack of dawn on Saturdays to catch your shows. Or maybe you booked it home from school in hopes of catching a handful of reruns. But even if you got up early enough or made it home lickity-split, you weren’t out of the woods yet. Then you were stuck with the difficult task of choosing between programs! You might have to sacrifice Captain N: The Gamemaster for Batman: The Animated Series… Notice I say “you” might have to do that, because I sure as hell wasn’t giving up Captain N. That show was like a Super Smash Brothers mash-up before such a thing even existed. I’m not hatin’ on Batman, these are just the very real struggles we faced in the olden times. Could you imagine going back in time and explaining to your younger self how readily available all these cartoons are now?? I would have flipped out! I can hear me now!
“So yeah, Transformers, G.I. Joe, Thundercats, SilverHawks… Whatever I want… It’s all there? Any time I want it? You came all the way back in time, and this is what you came to tell me? First of all, how the hell did that even happen? This better be some kind of Terminator 2 situation, and I’m John Connor. Am I John Connor? I’m not John Connor. Well, I see you got a bunch of tattoos, how’s that working out for you rockstar? And a wedding ring– so I guess we finally kiss a girl? What’s that? We have two kids? Just great. Did you at least bring me back a sports almanac, like in Back to the Future II? No, because we still don’t like sports? Jesus, man, did you really come all this way just to tell me about cartoons?!?”
Ok, so obviously, I would flip out more because of the time travel than streaming videos. Also, maybe I was a little bit of a smartass. But you have to admit, it really makes you think. About what, I’m not entirely sure. That sounds like a great topic for next time. Y’all come back now, ya hear!