Bo Talks: Another New Challenge

If you’ve been on social media at all recently, you’ve probably seen this new “in my feelings” challenge. It’s one of the newest challenges in a long line of never-ending challenges. From cinnamon to ice buckets, people love banal competition. Maybe they think, “Hey, I might not ever make it to the Winter Olympics, but maybe I can crush this Chubby Bunny Challenge!” Or maybe they’ve convinced themselves that doing something asinine on the world wide web will in some way help out an important cause. Whatever the reasons, these videos persist.

I learned about this “feelings” challenge the other day when a friend asked if I was planning on submitting a rendition as one of my “Bo Talks” videos on Facebook. I was honestly kind of shocked at first. Feelings? Listen here pal, my neck might not be very red but I’m for damn sure a red-blooded American, and what I do with my feelings is my own gall-dern business! The only “feelings challenge” I know is repression! Stuff those suckers way down deep, and let the next generation handle the fallout. You think Ronald Reagan or Clint Eastwood would participate in a “feelings challenge?” My friend went on to explain that the challenge doesn’t require the sharing of actual feelings– which was obviously a huge relief. He went on to explain that it involves dancing outside of a moving car to a song by former Degrassi actor and performer, Drake– while being filmed from inside the car!

Put down the phone buddy! Isn’t he Canadian? I’m starting to find all of this awfully coincidental and suspect. Here in Georgia, we literally just passed a law banning drivers from using their mobile devices while driving. All the sudden some Canadian has us knowingly breaking the law just to get a couple seconds of footage of us dancing? To a song about feelings??

All this time we’ve been so preoccupied with Russia, investigating collusion and cyber espionage… We took our eyes off of our northern neighbors! They lulled us into a false sense of security with their sexy Prime Minister and recreational marijuana– only to pull this sneak attack of catchy music and viral internet challenges! Don’t you see? They’re trying to soften us up while simultaneously convincing us that their pop stars’ demands are more important than our own rules and safety!  You better wake up before it’s too late, or the only challenge we’ll be participating in is the Maple Syrup and Free Healthcare Challenge!

Now that I think about it, I guess it could be worse.

Bo Walker is a local writer, striving to save the American people from themselves, one ridiculous column at a time.